Why Not Take a Cab?

After a difficult Japanese lesson left a series of questions in my head and no good answers, B. and I went to her lovely neighborhood bar and to down some aka wine and negi chahan. I had a healthy buzz when we were leaving, and decided that I did not want to take three trains to get home, and was most certainly too tipsy to make my way through the hell of Ikebukuro station. I live pretty close to the bar, and technically I could walk home if only I knew which direction home was. It must have been the wine talking when I decided that it would be much easier--and probably not too expensive--to take a cab. Lucky for me, one was right there.

I got in and said, "Higashi Ikebukuro eki," to the driver while waving goodbye to B. out the window. For some reason the driver started talking to me. I think he was making small talk because he kept saying, "Desu ne," at the end of his sentences. I momentarily thought that I could probably just answer him by saying, "So desu ne," but figured that might be misconstrued as understanding on my part, of which there was none, and I probably shouldn't just blindly agree with whatever he was saying.

About a minute into the ride, while at a stop light, I decided to try to tell him that I wanted to be dropped at the exit by the Zoshigaya cemetery--which is big enough to be a city in and of itself. I don't know the word for cemetery in Japanese, but had had great luck just speaking English to people all day and thought maybe that luck would continue. After saying, "Sumimasen," a few times I finally succeeded in getting his attention. I said, "Zoshigaya cemetery," and watched for some form of recognition. He said, "Hai, hai. Zoshigaya," and started rattling off some Japanese that I'm sure I've never heard before. I said it again, this time followed by a, "Wakarimasuka?" Of course he didn't understand. How many people, even if they speak a little of another language, know the word for cemetery? After saying, "Dead people?" a few times without any form of recognition, I decided that it was time to start miming. I put my hands around my throat, put my head to the side, stuck out my tongue a little, made a gurgling sound, and said, "Dead people." This he seemed to understand, but he had no idea why I was talking about it. The wine haze was starting to lift a bit, and after seeing that I was really getting nowhere with this poor man--who was probably starting to get a little worried about what kind of person he had picked up--I called S. to ask what the word for cemetery was in Japanese. He offered to talk to the driver and give him directions, and so I sat back and tried to reclaim my buzz.

After another few minutes, he pulled across a railroad crossing, stopped the cab, pointed in front of him and turned around saying, "Dead people!" with a huge grin on his face, obviously very proud of himself. Directly in front of us were, in fact, dead people. I said, "Yes, dead people, but I don't know where we are!" He smiled really big and again said, "Dead people!" What else could I do but pay the man and get out?

The taxi driver drove away and I was left standing completely alone at the edge of the cemetery in the dark. I had no idea which edge of the cemetery, nor in which direction I should start walking. After wandering around the cemetery for a little while, I found a map--of the cemetery. I took a picture of the map and emailed it to S., telling him that I had been dropped somewhere in the cemetery and I had no idea where I was. I also emailed B. because when you're lost at night in a cemetery, you need all the support you can get. I walked back to the tracks, but didn't know which way to follow them. [The station I wanted to be dropped at is a subway station, anyway.]

I had seen another cab drive through the cemetery when I was dropped off and decided to try my luck at finding another one. I kept to the main road, eyes peeled for a light on top of a car. There were a few cars parked on the side of the road, still running. I thought it was kind of strange to be parked in a cemetery at night until I got closer to the cars. Of course it makes sense that there are morbid freaks in Japan that like to fuck in cemeteries, too.

B. was more worried about my predicament than I was. While she was undoubtedly thinking, How can one be dropped at the edge of a graveyard and get lost?!, I was thinking, Ha! I got dropped at the edge of a graveyard and now I'm lost!! I figured I had another couple minutes before I changed my mind about it and started really freaking out. I kept following the line of running cars and somehow stumbled upon an intersection that looked very familiar. Within 5 minutes I was home, my buzz almost completely gone.

A job I never wanted to do again...

It seems I won't be forced into the sex industry after all. Out of desperation, I applied to a law firm, and, wonders never cease, they hired me.

After they offered me the position, the HR people started requesting all kinds of bullshit paperwork. [Well, maybe not bullshit, per se, but certainly aggravating paperwork that seemed like unnecessary bullshit to me.] It was when I was running all over town trying to get the umpteen various forms of paperwork that I needed to mail to them before starting work that I remembered that I never wanted to do this kind of work again.

But, it's a job and I'm not teaching English or taking off my clothes. The pay is pretty good and I don't have to get up early. But the best part is that it means I can stay here and be with S. That makes it worth it.

Japanese and its relation to God

While walking through the Zoshigaya cemetery, it occurred to me that my problem with learning the Japanese language is directly related to my problem with religion. In my experience with religion, difficult questions are usually answered by saying, "That's just the way it is." That answer was never sufficient for me and therefore I'm not a religious person. If something has obvious questions that cannot be answered, it just isn't worth my time and frustration.

That being said, the most common response that my Japanese teacher gives when I ask, in my opinion, obvious questions is, "That's just the way it is." Considering my former job, I can understand answering questions that way when speaking about grammar. When I was an English teacher, I often answered questions like that, but that was because I didn't know the answer, not because there wasn't an answer.

So does this mean that my Japanese teacher is just bad at her job, or that she's right, that that's just the way it is and there really aren't any good answers?

So this is why I can't believe in God, and why I will most likely never be able to learn Japanese. "That's just the way it is," is just not an acceptable answer for me. Of course, in regards to grammar, this makes me a hypocrite, but I can live with that.

A New Beginning

A new chapter of the Japan Experiment has begun. Because this chapter is entirely different, I thought it deserved it's own space.

I have been homeless and unemployed for the past three months--though not in Japan the entire time. Since I was working for an English school, when I quit said job I had to vacate the apartment they provided. But because I've met some truly wonderful people here, namely B. and H., I didn't end up sleeping in a blue tarp tent in Ueno Park.

My first month of unemployment/homelessness was spent doing practically nothing. Of course, technically I was preparing for my trip to Australia, Thailand and Cambodia, but realistically I was doing nothing but watching B.'s American TV shows on DVD [that Arrested Development is pretty damn funny!!] and spending time with S.

My original plan was to spend a little less than a month doing some sightseeing and whatnot in Tokyo and the surrounding areas, travel around Australia and Southeast Asia, return to Japan and travel a little more, and then go home. Back in the beginning of April, that was the plan, and a good plan I thought. But then at the end of April, I fell for a boy... The more time that passed, the more I considered changing my plan. I do have a three year visa [well, two years now] and other than friends and family, I have no real reason to go home. My house is rented, I have no job to return to, and I won't be able to get into grad school before taking the dreaded GRE, for which I need to study... And I really liked this guy.

So after returning from my soul searching in Australia, my awe-inspiring run through Cambodia on the back of a motor bike, and my disgusted time in Thailand, I stared looking for a job in Tokyo. Unfortunately, I don't speak Japanese [because I wasted an entire year here doing god knows what instead of learning the language!] and if one doesn't speak Japanese, the job pool shrinks drastically. Due to this disability, I can either teach English or work in the fairly large sex industry. [On a side note, dancers make an extremely high amount of money a month here, but I think it's a little late in the game to be taking that up!] There are a few jobs out there that don't require Japanese and don't involve teaching or flirting with drunk salarymen, but most of them have to do with some kind of financial institution. After going on an interview for one of those companies, I think the sex industry would be easier [and guaranteed/stable] money... And I probably wouldn't feel like as much of a whore.