Vague threats

So after being here well over a year, I decided that I should probably go ahead and register with the U.S. Embassy, you know, in case of "The Big One." Of course, I had no idea that the Embassy, MY Embassy, would turn over my email address to, I can only hope, the highest bidder. Ever since signing up with them I've been getting all kinds of spam. "How could I know it was the Embassy?" you ask? Because I only give that email address when it's important, i.e. the U.S. Embassy and Amazon.

Today I got a message from the Embassy warning of potential threats somewhere in Japan. Of course, the government didn't tell me any useful information at all--like where this threat is coming from?? Who I should be on the lookout for??? They just said that I should report any suspicious characters to the authorities. Yeah, sure. I think the drunk businessmen are suspicious characters!!

Here's the email, in all it's royal vagueness:

The U.S. Embassy has learned of a possible threat against American
facilities in Japan, the credibility of which has yet to be determined.
Given the upcoming Memorial Day holiday, we advise American citizens to
exercise caution and report any suspicious activities to authorities.

3. For the latest security information, Americans living and traveling
abroad should regularly monitor the Department's Bureau of Consular
Affairs Internet web site at , where the current
Worldwide Caution, Public Announcements, and Travel Warnings can be
found. Up-to-date information on security can also be obtained by calling
1-888-407-4747 toll free in the U.S., or, for callers outside the U.S.
and Canada, a regular toll line at 1-202-501-4444. These numbers are
available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through
Friday (except U.S. federal holidays).


The American Embassy in Tokyo
American Citizen Services
1-10-5 Akasaka, Minato-ku, Tokyo 107-8420
Tel: 03-3224-5000
Fax: 03-3224-5856
http://japan.usembassy.gov/acs/

You know, I can't even remember when Memorial Day is...

A little knowledge can be a bad thing...

As I was leaving the Gap, a cap-sleeve shirt caught my eye. I was looking for an "M" in tan when the sales lady came up to me. She asked me what size I was looking for and I told her. Of course, they didn't have any tan mediums. She offered me a white medium and I told her that I liked the tan ones.

It's important to point out that this entire dialogue was going on in Japanese. I was quite proud of myself for understanding what she was saying, let alone for being able to talk back to her. I was so proud, in fact, that I began to think that maybe I was wrong for thinking [and saying] that I have two completely worthless Japanese teachers.

So then the Gap lady offered me a tan small, to which I replied, "Wakige tight desu." She laughed for just a second and then composed herself. I thought, Oh, she's laughing cause it's strange that a gaijin would know the word for armpit but not the word for tight... [which, you have to admit, is a little strange...]

I left the Gap without making any purchases, but feeling quite good about myself. Then I got home and told S... The retelling was going quite well. I was smiling, he was smiling, he was saying how great it was that I understood her, and then I got to the wakige part... The minute I said, "Wakige tight desu," and remembered her short [and guffaw like] laugh, I realized my mistake. You see, armpit is "waki" in Japanese. I know this... I do. I also know that when you add "ge" to the end of certain body parts it means said body part's hair. The woman probably didn't understand the word "tight" and instead thought that I was saying that my armpit hair was too long for a small size shirt with such short sleeves.

Ikea!

For the second time, Ikea has come to Japan. Considering the size of the apartments here, it really is a wonder that Ikea didn't catch on the first time around. But I hear that was back in the '70s, and maybe people were still feeling a bit traditional in those days...

It's Golden Week, a time when most people are off of work and want to travel, and so therefore they jack up the ticket prices. I desperately want to get out of Tokyo, even if it's just for one day. The new Ikea store is located in Chiba, which, technically, is out of Tokyo, but because we're taking a regular train, ticket prices aren't effected by the price gouging. Therefore, Ikea ni ikimashyo!

F., C. and I head out to Chiba, just past Tokyo Disney, to the Ikea. You can see the bright blue and yellow warehouse from the train. We all get excited. It's Golden Week!! We're out of Tokyo!! We're going to Ikea!! Most of the people on the train with us get off at the same stop. When we get closer to the store, we see it: The long zig zagging line that wraps all the way around the building to the parking garage in the back. The last time I saw a line like this was when we were trying to get out of the damn Aichi World Expo!

After some debate, we decide to go ahead and wait in line... It was the reason we went all the way out there, and what else is there to do in Chiba? And I had promised three people that I would bring back catalogues. Plus, there were Ikea guys wandering around with baskets full of chocolate! Well, at least they were wandering around until I took a handful. After that, they all disappeared.

Inside it was just a regular Ikea store, except that everything was written in Japanese and it was so crowded that I kept hitting people with my huge yellow bag. Since I was there to buy a rug, this made the process a little more difficult. Where was this, "Maketopurasu" that I was supposed to pick the thing up at?? And how was I going to carry it through this many people?!